1. Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
2. Yo momma so ugly, when she went to a stripping club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.
3. Yo momma so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! Hoooollly shit!
4. Yo momma is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.
5. Yo momma’s so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ”wait you forgot the remote”.
6. Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like shit.
7. Yo momma so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios, children follow her shouting “Shrek! Shrek!”
8. Yo momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
9. Yo momma so ugly that her birth certificate came with an apology letter from the condom factory.
10. Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.
11. Yo momma so old that when she went to the museum, people thought she was part of an exhibit.
12. Yo momma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says ‘one at a time, please.’
13. Yo momma’s so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.
14. Yo momma so fat she doesn’t take pictures, she takes posters.
15. Yo momma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
16. Yo momma so poor that your family ate cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
17. Yo momma is so ugly she reminds me SUN, is hard to look at her.
18. Yo momma is so dirty, she has to use right guard and left guard.
19. Yo momma is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
20. Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
21. Yo momma’s so poor she traded her car for gas money.
22. Yo momma so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said: “who turned off the heat?”
23. Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.
24. Yo momma is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
25. Yo momma so black when I shot her, the bullet came back and asked for a flashlight.
26. Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said ‘clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise to the lord, we have heat!’.
27. Yo momma’s breath so nasty, I don’t know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
28. Yo momma’s breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth, I have to duck.
29. Yo momma’s so dumb she waited all day at a stop sign.
30. Yo momma is so stupid, when I offered her animal crackers she said no thanks, I’m a vegetarian.
31. Yo momma is so stupid, when you were born she looked at your umbilical cord and says “It comes with cable!”
32. Yo momma’s so stupid she was yelling at the mailbox. We ask her what’s she doing and she said, she was sending a voicemail.
33. Yo mommas so stupid she failed a survey.
34. Yo momma is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
35. Yo momma so fat she doesn’t take pictures, she takes posters.
36. Yo momma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says ‘one at a time, please.’
37. Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
38. Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
39. Yo momma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, “We can’t fix it.”
40. Yo momma so old that her birthday’s expired.
41. Yo momma is like a hockey player, she doesn’t change her pad for three periods.
42. Yo mama so stupid she tried to make an appointment with Dr. Pepper
43. Yo momma so ugly that when she smiles in the mirror the reflection doesn’t smile back.
44. Yo momma’s so stupid when she licked a dog she said ‘meow.’
45. Yo momma is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
46. Yo momma’s so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
47. Yo momma so poor I saw her with one shoe in the garbage can and I said, “Did you lost a shoe.” And she said, “Nope I just found one.”
48. Yo momma so ugly when she takes baths water hops out.
49. Yo momma is so stupid she failed a survey.
50. Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
51. Yo momma so stupid, she put 2 quarters to her ears and thought she was listenin’ to 50 Cent.
52. Yo momma is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping out the basement window.
53. Yo momma so stupid that she brought a ruler to bed to see how long she could sleep.
54. Yo momma is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.
55. Yo momma is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
56. Yo momma is so fat, she uses transport trucks as roller skates.
57. Yo momma is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
58. Yo momma so ugly when she was walking to the bank, they turned off the security cameras.
59. Yo momma is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
60. Yo momma is like the sun, stare at her and you’ll go blind.
61. Yo momma so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
62. Yo momma is so ugly, her vibrator went soft.
63.Yo momma so flat, the wall is jealous of her.
64. Yo momma is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
65. Yo momma is so dirty, they won’t even use her bath water for waterboarding.
66. Yo momma is so ugly, her face looks like a horse’s ass flapping in the breeze.
67. Yo momma is so stupid, she invented a ventilated condom.
68. Yo momma is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
69. Yo momma so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
70. Yo’ daddy’s so ugly when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
71. Yo momma so fat she’s got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
72. Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
73. Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, “to be continued.”
74. Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
75. Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now.
76. Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
77. Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she’s wearing tights!
78. Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bathtub to get her out!
79. Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
80. Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu.
81. Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
82. Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps
83. Yo momma so fat that she can’t tie her own shoes
84. Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs
85. Yo momma so fat she can’t reach her back pocket
86. Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, “STOP THAT TWINKIE!! ”
87. Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the CD played skip, at the radio station!!!
88. Yo momma so fat, when she went outside in a red dress, everyone yelled, “HEY, KOOL-AID!”
89. Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
90. Yo momma so fat her waist size is equator!
91. Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
92. Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway.
93.Yo momma so fat I’ve known her all my life … and I still haven’t seen ALL of her!
94. Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
95. Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
96. Yo momma so fat, her legs are like spoiled milk – white & chunky!
97. Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the good side!
98. Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George
Washington’s nose
99. Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
100. Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
Comments