- How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
They wave! - What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner! - What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear! - What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese! - What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite! - What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet. - Why are seagulls called seagulls?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels! - Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam! - How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it. - What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta! - Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?
He was a little hoarse. - What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Rrrrrrr! - What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste. - Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools! - What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt! - Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel! - What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milk shake! - Where do cows go for entertainment?
To the moo-vies! - How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?
Your head hits the ceiling! - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! - What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop! - Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them! - Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs! - What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator! - Why did the man run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep! - What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore! - Why did the teddy bear say “no” to dessert?
Because she was stuffed. - What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn. - What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells! - What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me! - Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide. - What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour. - How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket! - What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling! - What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker. - What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree! - What animal is always at a game of cricket?
A bat. - What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister! - How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it. - How does a scientist freshen their breath?
With experi-mints! - How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night! - How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
They starts coffin. - What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm. - What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock. - What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick. - Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
The food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere. - How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles! - What did the nose say to the finger?
Stop picking on me! - What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange. - What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador. - Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
He had no body to dance with. - What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque. - What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious. - What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud! - Why was the picture sent to prison?
It was framed. - Where do rabbits go after they get married?
On a bunny-moon! - What sound do hedgehogs make when they hug?
Ouch! - Why do ducks make great detectives?
They always quack the case. - What do you call an old snowman?
Water. - Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice. - What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
The thesaurus. - Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash! - What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee. - What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot! - What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A stega-snore-us. - Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop. - What do you call a group of disorganized cats?
A cat-tastrophe. - Why did the chicken get a penalty?
For fowl play. - Where do you learn to make banana splits?
At sundae school. - Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad dressing. - Where do hamburgers go to dance?
The meat-ball. - What’s the worst thing about throwing a party in space?
You have to planet. - Why did the tree go to the dentist?
It needed a root canal. - Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything! - Why do moon rocks taste better than earth rocks?
Because they’re meteor. - What kind of music do planets listen to?
Nep-tunes. - Why did the opera singer go sailing?
They wanted to hit the high Cs. - When do doctors get angry?
When they run out of patients. - Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case they got a hole in one. - Why did the scientist take out their doorbell?
The wanted to win the no-bell prize. - What did the calculator say to the maths student?
You can count on me. - Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
It was too tired. - What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look! No hands! - Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus. - What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around, and I’ll go ahead. - What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A do-you-think-he-saw-us. - What do you call two guys hanging on a window?
Kurt and Rod. - How do you find Will Smith when he’s lost?
You just look for fresh prints. - Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
Lack of concentration. - What did one tonsil say to the other? Better get dressed.
The doctors’s taking us out tonight! - Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
They woke him up. - What do you call a guy lying on your doorstep?
Matt. - What do snowmen call their fancy annual dance?
The Snowball. - Why is it so windy inside an arena?
All those fans. - What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park your car, man. - Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?
Because it’s bound to squeal. - What does a spider’s bride wear?
A webbing dress. - Where do young cows eat lunch?
In the calf-ateria. - What did the policeman say to his tummy?
Freeze. You’re under a vest. - What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
The Best Jokes For Kids
List of 100 Kid Jokes
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